Surrender ~ Choices

So today I was lead to write this blog by something I read of Facebook.  This was written by someone I know and think is a beautiful soul. As I read and re-read what she wrote, I was seeing her point and I agree with the way I am viewing her post. It read:

"One cannot surrender to God thinking that doing nothing for the self will solve everything! Humans need to be present in their own lives and be held accountable for themselves!"



We can not jut say forget it and not be accountable for our OWN actions in life. Yes we most certainly have to be present in our lives and accountable in our lives. Doing nothing is not going to get us anywhere! Surrendering to God does not mean we get to sit back and wait for Him to work amazing miracles in our lives or waiting for someone else to live our life for us. God did not give us this life to have others live it for us or let alone to blame others for our actions or choices.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.Now choose life, so that you and your children may live

Deuteronomy 30:19

It means making choices and learning from them. We might not always make the right choices but we pick our selves up and move forward. We were given this life to live it and learn from our own actions and yes that means taking responsibility for the outcome of our life! I am the one who makes the choices in my life and I have to live with the outcome.

The one who gets wisdom loves life;
    the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.

Proverbs 19:8

Surrendering to God means looking to him for wisdom and strength in making the choices in life, allowing him to direct my path. Looking to him for knowledge, listening and waiting on him for  understanding before leaping in a direction that might not be good.

Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.

Psalm 25:4

So Surrendering to the Lord to me is ~ Living a life of good, truth, honor and love (yes that even means loving the unloveable or my enemies). Being thankful for the life I have because after all where  I am in life is because of the choices I made. Now I give credit to God for many things in my life. I feel he has blessed me beyond measures. I do look to the Lord in Prayer and His word  for direction in my life before I just leap into a decision , after all he is my ABBA!

Thank you Kellie for inspiring me today and reminding me that even though I have surrendered my Life to God, I am still responsible for the outcome of my life! I love your heart and you truly are a Beautiful Soul!

Picture found on Pinterest.

Letting Go and Leaning on God

I will say of the Lord, He is my Refuge and my Fortress, my God; on Him I lean and rely, and in Him I [confidently] trust!

Psalm 91:2 AMP

Stop a minute here, read that Bible verse and let it really sink into your heart. Read it over and over till is has touched your heart and soul. What a power verse, that speaks so loud and clear to us all. 

I am going to break this verse down the way I see it, the way God is speaking to me about it.

This is how the breakdown is going to look:

The Dictionary Definition of each word ~My Definition of each word

Refuge: shelter or protection from danger, trouble ~ The Lord will shelter me and protect me all the days of my life

Fortress: any place of exceptional security; stronghold. ~ The Lord is my security with him I am safe!

GOD: the one Supreme Being, the creator and ruler of the universe. ~ Amazing, Wonderful, Powerful, Graceful and LOVING!!

Lean: to rest against or on something for support ~ I will rest in him, he is my rest.

Rely: to depend confidently; put trust in ~ he will never leave me and he will always be truthful and speak the truth to me.

Trust: a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust. (love how the dictionary even references God) ~ I will put all my confidence in the Lord.

What I hear in my heart when I read this verse is, God wants me to Surrender it all to him. He wants to be my protection, my safety and he wants me to lean on him. But how can I surrender to God if I am not trusting in him? I mean really trusting in him with ALL of me. You see God wants all 100% of me, not part of me, not the half that is trusting in him during Church, bible study or quiet time. He wants all of me, every breath I breath, every single second of my life he wants to be with me!

When I read this verse I am reminded that God is in control of my life and I need to Let it go and allow him to have his control back. I need to stop trying to play his part in my life. I need to allow him to direct me and not worry or be fearful of what could happen tomorrow, I need to dwell in his promises of my life. 

I am reminded again in Scripture that he wants me to run to him,  trust in him and rest in him.

The name of the Lord is a fortified tower;
    the righteous run to it and are safe.

Proverbs 18:10

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

You are my strength, I sing praise to you;
    you, God, are my fortress,
    my God on whom I can rely

Psalm 59:17

Trust in the Lord forever,
    for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.

Isaiah 26:4

The Lord is good,
    a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him

Nahum 1:7

See he reminds us all over, again and again that he wants to be there for Me, for you and for all of us that will come to him!

Dear Heavenly Father~

I give it all to you. I am on my  knees asking for forgiveness and surrendering it all to you Lord. Take back the control over my life and direct my paths! I know you are my safe place, my protection and I run to you. Fill me with your Grace and love, hold my hand and guide me. Lord I trust in you, I put my confidence in you and not the ways of this world. I am fixing my eyes on you and letting it go. I want to dwell and rest in you God. Thank you for loving me so unconditionally, even when I ignored you. I love you! In Jesus Name ~ Amen

Picture was found on Pinterest.

Lessons to be Learned......

This week has been a real eye opener for me. God spoke to my heart on several occasions this week. I knew there were lesson to be learned and I had to open my heart, mind and soul to hear what he was saying.

For the word of the Lord is right and true, 

he is faithful in all he does.

Psalm 33:4

I know God's words are true and can be trusted. I know in my heart he speaks the truths to me and would not lie but yet I still ignore them, why?  Why do I turn my back to him and listen to lies, negative thoughts and compare myself, my life to others. Why do I allow Satan to have his victory dances when he succeeds by my listening to these lies and when I start to compare my life to that of others?

Because I took my eyes of the Lord and tried or I really should say try to control my life.

God spoke to me while reading Let.It.Go by Karen Ehman in Chapter 10 "Embracing your what-evvv-er", on pg 186 where she says "I want to be someone else", I can relate to that. Since I was a young girl I desired to be someone else and up until recently I still had that strong desire. I could hear God asking me "Why Lauren?" I thought of the bumpy, hard road my life had traveled down and my heart desired to be someone else, someone who in my mind  lived  a perfect life (is there truly a perfect life), that's when pg 192 hit me and I realized I needed to be asking the same question:

"What is God trying to say to me, not by the outcome, but through the voyage?" Pg.192 ~ Karen Ehman

There is obviously a reason God has led me down this path and there are lessons to be learned. I have been stubborn and ignored this and what I really need to do is shut up, listen and hear the Lord.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.  Psalm 37:7a

I need to start trusting in him and realize I am right were he wants me to be in my life, not someone else and to be thankful. I need to realize that yeah I have a crazy, beautiful yet blessed life! So there was lesson one to be learned this week: to Trust, listen, wait on him and allow him to be in control.

Show me your ways, O Lord,

teach me your paths.

Psalm 25:4

Then came lesson two.........................Oh yeah the awful comparison trap, yep guilty and God showed me.  I fell and yep still do for Satan's ugly lies.  I allow him to get inside my head and negative thoughts take over. I am always comparing myself to others:

"Oh if only I was skinnier, or my legs were more toned. If I dressed different, my hair was different, then maybe I would be pretty and good enough" Oh yeah totally guilty, and these feelings and comparisons have been strong for sometime now.  Not only am I comparing my outward looks, I am comparing my life as well. "How come I am not married yet? Why am I not a mommy yet? Look at their picture perfect family, I want that too." Then I start believing the lies in my head that there most be something wrong me and that is why I do not have all that and all the while Satan in doing his little victory dance.

Well this week God stomped on Satan's victory dance through the message Jamy Whitaker gave us on Tuesday 3/5/13 on comparison.

Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, 

without comparing himself to somebody else.  

Galatians 6:4

God reminded me that I am right where he wants me to be in my life. There is nothing wrong with me, I am on the path that he has me traveling right now and there are still lessons to be learned here. Like where Jamy reminded us "You are loved, special and beautiful -just as you are." I needed to hear this and God knew it. I know I am unique, a one of a kind, am beautiful and his master piece, I just needed to be reminded! So lesson two was to remember I am loved and my life is going exactly as God is planning it! 

So this week I have taken away that when those negative thoughts or lies start to creep up on me, I will stop them by Fixing me eyes on the Lord and ......................

SELAH!

Listening.......

I think God has really been talking to me lately and I have not been listening very well. So recently I have written about forgiving, surrendering and now listening!

Well tonight I was reading my P31 Magazine (which you can get at www.proverbs31.org) there was an devotional  by Lysa TerKeurst ~ Why I am Breaking up with my "Quiet Time", "okay God I am listening" is what was going through  my mind after reading this amazing devotional. I too had made God a routine in my life and that is by far what I want! I need and want him to be the hugest part of my life, to be a part of everything through out my whole entire day, not just 15-30 minutes of it! So here I was hearing God tell me too, "I want to be with you always Lauren, not just sometimes".

Which leads me to where I listened to God tonight, after reading this devotional I was Challenged to read a Chapter of Proverbs everyday until I complete Proverbs. Now Lysa mentioned this in her devotional and I felt God led me there to challenge me. So I started tonight and I read Proverbs Chapter One. Part of the challenge was to ask God to reveal to me which verse was "my verse" and here is the one that spoke to me:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, 

but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Proverbs 1:7

My NIV Life application study Bible has footnotes at the bottom and here is what it said about this verse: The foundation of knowledge is to fear the Lord- to honor and respect God, to live in awe of his power, and to obey his word. 

WOW, did God show me "my verse" this verse spoke to my heart, I want to fear the Lord, I want to Honor him, I want to be filled of his amazing knowledge and obey his Word. I need his knowledge so that I may live a life for him and to be filled with his Grace! I want the Lord to be with me Always!

So tonight I listened when the Lord spoke to me and challenged me, I could have turned my head and said tomorrow Lord but I chose to LISTEN! Are you willing to take the challenge and listen to the Lord too?

Dear Heavenly Father ~

I come to you tonight asking you to forgive me, I never wanted you to be a routine in my life Lord. Please fill my heart and soul with your knowledge, love and grace. Guide and direct me Lord. Help me to have more discipline in my life. Lord I want you to be with me through out the whole entire day not just part of it. Thank you Lord for speaking to my heart tonight and leading me to read this devotional and giving me this challenge. I love you Lord and I want to Honor you all the days of my life.  In Jesus Name ~ Amen

I Surrender to you Lord

 After reading several chapters in "Let.It.Go by Karen Ehman" I was like a numb body with a broken soul and heart, sitting and pondering many things in my  little head and the reason is found on pg. 53 "Lord why have you brought me here?" this should be my prayer! Instead like Karen mentioned in the book I have spent the last 18 years (maybe even longer- yeah longer) asking God "Why me? or What did I do to deserve this?"

Then to top it off Saturday February 9th, 2013 I spent the day at my Church for a Women's Day Conference and one of the topics of a lesson was "What are your top 10 Trust issues? and why have you not given them to God?"..........Oh man, my heart, soul, mind and probably ever inch of my body was grieving inside. I felt totally broken, full of pain, hurt, anger, you name it that was me, crying inside!

In my mind I was whispering, "Why God, Why are you doing this to me? Why do you keep leading me to these studies or conference were I am brought back to the area in my life I am trying to ignore?" the I heard it, "Trust me Lauren". Why is it so hard to release these pains over to God, why do we try to lock them away? Is it the fear of the pain becoming new again? Is it the fear of breaking down again?

Oh My Sisters in Christ today I admit I have been BROKEN for sometime now, my heart is full of tiny scars left from past hurts, new hurts and so much more. I have lived a life full of the bumpy, windy path and I am so ready for the path to be straight and smooth, yet I know it will be when God wants it to be.  I missed the bigger picture until I picked up Karen's book, this whole time instead of Why why why and this is not fair, I should have been asking:

"Lord, Why have you brought me here?" (pg.53 Let.It.Go ~ Karen Ehman)

So here it is, here is my Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father ~

I come to you tonight and I surrender to you Lord. I am so tired of feeling broken, lost and hurt inside. I want the joy , love and laughter to return in my spirit. Oh Lord, I know I have been quiet good at hiding this pain and putting on my best smile but tonight I am waving the white flag. I need you Lord, I need you to help me to understand why you have lead me down these roads and what am I missing. What is the lesson I have missed? I need you to guide me Lord, direct my path, hold me and never let me go. I am ready to start healing and release these things of the past to you Lord. This is hard Lord as you know some of this pain is deep, my brokenness come from the ones I love or loved the most. I need you to help heal these scars left on my heart, fill them with your love, your grace. I am at your mercy Lord. I know this will be hard and it will take time, but knowing you are holding me and I am in your hands, I can do this. I am Trusting in you Lord. You are my Rock, my Redeemer and my Salvation. Clinging to you and giving it all to you. I love you Lord and I know you love me.  

In Jesus Name ~ Amen

Picture found on Pinterest. 

Really God?...You want me to do what?...FORGIVE :(

"Go wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed."
~ 2 Kings 5:10b

Elisha told Naaman to do this to rid Naaman of his leprosy but he refused to at first, he wanted a fast result.......just as you and I ignore certain instructions from the Lord. We too want fast results, why would we possible want to work at something.

Page 130 in Greater by Steven Furtick he ask "What is the Jordan River in your life? What is the one thing about which you would say, "I will do anything God asks me to do -as long as it is not that""?  While reading and re-reading the part in Chapter 9 ~ it hit me hard and my heart was pounding inside my chest.  God was speaking directly towards me in this section of the book.  You see for the longest time I have been ignoring that one request from God, telling myself, everything was fine - Yet it is not. God is asking me to Forgive, he has been telling me over and over to forgive a family member and I have ignored him, the pain is too deep and how could I possibly forgive this person.

I have argued with God over this with the typical "it was not me why should I forgive" or "I didn't do anything wrong, why" then I also told myself I had already forgive but truly I had/have not.  Then again on pg. 130 in Greater, "Is it that one person you said you would never forgive"?....Wow there is was shooting out off the page at me,

"Lauren, trust me it is time to Forgive ~ God".

Oh Lord, WHY? I was so close to this person, talked weekly, I looked up to him, he was my best friend, then like a light switch for No reason, no explanation, he completely shut me out of his life....why why should I forgive, it hurts to much.

It was right then I realized I needed to dip in the Jordan River myself, it was time, Time to Trust and listen to the Lord.

Time To Forgive!

The Bible says in Matthew we are to forgive our brothers, 

"Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he has sinned against me? Up to Seven times?" Jesus answered, " I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21

Or one of My favorites ~ Forgive one Another:

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against each one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

God wants us to forgive even when it is the hardest or might hurt, but he will get us threw it.  Just because we forgive does not mean that we have to have a relationship with this person again, we are closing that door and moving forward, not holding on to the past.

So I am going to listen to the Lord and start forgiving - because even though it hurts (hurts a lot) I am going to listen to the instructions I am being told, I am going to take that dip in the Jordan, and I know I can and will get threw this because God is on my side.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; 

my heart trust in him, and I am helped.

Psalm 28:7

I love this statement I heard at my Women's Retreat with my Church "Faith strengthens our hearts ~ as we Trust in the Lord."  So since my faith is strong , I will trust in the Lord and I will Forgive, so that I may be lead to Greater things God has in store for me ~ My Heart will heal.

I can do anything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Picture Created By Veronica L. Herzing

Faith ~ Feeling

Faith is the confidence that we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1 NLT

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 NIV

I love the the NIV version of the Bible verse, yet I love how they  both show the bigger picture......Belief! This is my favorite bible verse and you could say my life verse! I have been walking by faith for a very long time, unsure of the whys or whens but just trusting in the Lord to lead my way and guide me!

Why do we have Faith? Because it is in our Hearts ~ we feel it in our souls and hearts!

My head spins with so many thoughts over this verse, as I sit here and try to write about my feelings on it. My mind goes a million miles a minute and I can't seem to find the right words or how to put the words together to express my thoughts.

I see words like a diagram in my head on Faith, like the picture below:

All of these thoughts lead right back to GOD, he is the solid base of my Faith, of my Belief! 

The first word that keeps popping out at me is Amazing!   I think of this unconditional love God has for me, I can't see it but I sure can feel it in my heart and soul. 

Then Security  keeps flashing at me over and over. I can't place a shield all around me to block out all the negative evil things of this world (though I would love too) but I know I am safe, I have security in God's arms. He has arms wrapped around me, No I can't see him holding me but I sure can feel them and I know I am secure.

TRUST ~  this one flash non-stop in my thoughts, trust in the Lord Lauren and his promises, trust his word, trust in your Faith! I put all my trust in the Lord and my feeling of my Faith because I know they are real!

The Dictionary defines Faith as: 1. confidence or trust in a person or thing. 2. belief that is not based on proof

The Thesaurus says: definition of faith is: trust in something.

Steven Furtick writes in his book GREATER (which is awesome) on pg. 62 ~"In Scripture, faith isn't just about believing and certainly not about mere thinking. Faith is about action. In fact faith is action. Faith doesn't come full circle, through lofty thoughts but through simple steps. It's why James so pointedly said "Faith without works is dead." (2:26 NKLV) faith isn't a state of mind - it's a course of action. Faith is work."

I read this passage in his book and I think TRUST, my faith in action is Trust, trusting in the Lord. Trust that he is my confidence, my belief and my everything.   

I could go on and on about my thoughts on faith, but that would take you on a very long and probably confusing path. So instead I will leave you with a poem I like about faith.

"By faith"

by: Keith and Kristyn Getty

By faith we see the hand of God

In the light of creation's grand design

In the lives of those who prove His faithfulness

Who walk by faith and not by sight

By faith our fathers roamed the earth

With the power of His promise in their hearts

Of a Holy city built by God's own hand

A place where peace and justice reign

We will stand as children of the promise

We will fix our eyes on Him our soul's reward

Till the race is finished and the work is done

We'll walk by faith and  not by sight

By faith the prophets saw a day 

When the longed-for Messiah would appear

With the power to break the chains of sin and death

And rise triumphant from the grave

By faith the church was called to go

In the power of the Spirit to the lost

to deliver captive and to preach good news

In every corner of the earth

We will stand...

By faith this mountain shall be moved

And the power of the gospel shall prevail

For we know in Christ all things are possible

For all who call upon His name