For the word of the Lord is right and true,
he is faithful in all he does.
I know God's words are true and can be trusted. I know in my heart he speaks the truths to me and would not lie but yet I still ignore them, why? Why do I turn my back to him and listen to lies, negative thoughts and compare myself, my life to others. Why do I allow Satan to have his victory dances when he succeeds by my listening to these lies and when I start to compare my life to that of others?
Because I took my eyes of the Lord and tried or I really should say try to control my life.
God spoke to me while reading Let.It.Go by Karen Ehman in Chapter 10 "Embracing your what-evvv-er", on pg 186 where she says "I want to be someone else", I can relate to that. Since I was a young girl I desired to be someone else and up until recently I still had that strong desire. I could hear God asking me "Why Lauren?" I thought of the bumpy, hard road my life had traveled down and my heart desired to be someone else, someone who in my mind lived a perfect life (is there truly a perfect life), that's when pg 192 hit me and I realized I needed to be asking the same question:
"What is God trying to say to me, not by the outcome, but through the voyage?" Pg.192 ~ Karen Ehman
There is obviously a reason God has led me down this path and there are lessons to be learned. I have been stubborn and ignored this and what I really need to do is shut up, listen and hear the Lord.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:7a
I need to start trusting in him and realize I am right were he wants me to be in my life, not someone else and to be thankful. I need to realize that yeah I have a crazy, beautiful yet blessed life! So there was lesson one to be learned this week: to Trust, listen, wait on him and allow him to be in control.
Show me your ways, O Lord,
teach me your paths.
Then came lesson two.........................Oh yeah the awful comparison trap, yep guilty and God showed me. I fell and yep still do for Satan's ugly lies. I allow him to get inside my head and negative thoughts take over. I am always comparing myself to others:
"Oh if only I was skinnier, or my legs were more toned. If I dressed different, my hair was different, then maybe I would be pretty and good enough" Oh yeah totally guilty, and these feelings and comparisons have been strong for sometime now. Not only am I comparing my outward looks, I am comparing my life as well. "How come I am not married yet? Why am I not a mommy yet? Look at their picture perfect family, I want that too." Then I start believing the lies in my head that there most be something wrong me and that is why I do not have all that and all the while Satan in doing his little victory dance.
Well this week God stomped on Satan's victory dance through the message Jamy Whitaker gave us on Tuesday 3/5/13 on comparison.
Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself,
without comparing himself to somebody else.
God reminded me that I am right where he wants me to be in my life. There is nothing wrong with me, I am on the path that he has me traveling right now and there are still lessons to be learned here. Like where Jamy reminded us "You are loved, special and beautiful -just as you are." I needed to hear this and God knew it. I know I am unique, a one of a kind, am beautiful and his master piece, I just needed to be reminded! So lesson two was to remember I am loved and my life is going exactly as God is planning it!
So this week I have taken away that when those negative thoughts or lies start to creep up on me, I will stop them by Fixing me eyes on the Lord and ......................